5 Things Boys Can't Live Without

By: Unknown on 5:05 PM

1.Video games

No matter what piece of crap life tosses your way, video games offer an easy, entertaining and graphically-pleasing escape. For example, if watching your favorite team lose has got you down, pop in your sports game, take the team over, and trade all the bastards that fumbled. When your woman or your job's got you frustrated or upset, you can start up Grand Theft Auto and run some people over, stopping only to blow your roulette winnings on a hooker.

2.A really comfortable chair
Like the toilet, a man cannot live without at least one chair or couch that he's really comfortable in. For married men, or those living with their girlfriends, this is the one piece of furniture she hates, which of course only adds to its allure. This could be a recliner, the mother of all relaxing chairs, or even a sectional of a couch. Either way, though, your chair is the place for you to unwind and relax.

3.The Internet

Where else can you get the latest business, sports and entertainment news, as well as funny video clips, jokes and porn? The World Wide Web is man's best and most addictive friend; it's kind of like combining the world's greatest libraries, postal services, stores, shows, and music, and then making it accessible 24 hours a day from the comfort of your home.

4.Beer

Nothing makes day-to-day life more manageable than a bottle of your favorite brewskie. This isn't to say we need to be drunk to enjoy life, but a cold one sure makes it easier, doesn't it? Besides, without booze, half of our sexual exploits would not have occurred. And what would hanging out with the guys be like while sober? Their stories just wouldn't be as interesting.

5.Sports highlights

The reason shows like NFL Primetime are so popular is because they cut out all the crap involved in watching the NFL and sports in general — the commercials, halftime, timeouts, video reviews, Phil Simms — while giving us all the essential plays, hits, bloopers, and insider information. This includes reams of statistics that we memorize religiously and use in drunken arguments with friends.